Every morning when I wake up, I carefully and slowly get out of bed to make my way to the bathroom. I steady myself before I take a single step to see if my right leg will allow me to stand on it. If I don’t, a sudden sharp pain could send me to the ground. This has happened and I fractured two bones in my left wrist, when I fell.
Once I am ready to get dressed it is a slow and painful operation. The very act of putting on my underwear is huge. We take for granted this simple, personal thing we do each day, but with medical mesh in your body, it is a slow and painful act. I try to dangle my panties as close to the floor as possible to avoid raising my right leg up off the ground more than an inch or two. The act of bending forward causes me pelvic pain. The act of raising my foot slightly cases me groin pain. To put my panties on leaves me wishing I did not have to go any further to get dressed because it has taken so much out of me. My sister asked me why I didn’t sit down to do this. I explained that the pain is worse bending forward in a sitting position. It may seem odd, but that is what women with bladder slings in their body deal with.
I often think thank God I live in Texas where it is warmer. I purchased a sock device for the cold days, but I prefer not wearing socks at all because it is so difficult, painful and time consuming to put them on. I can’t wear boots any more because I cannot bend forward to pull them on, nor get them off. When I go out, I wear half shoes, mules with a fur lining in cold weather without socks, because I cannot raise my leg high enough to slip my foot in them without raising it more than a couple of inches. Flat sandals in summer. I do anything to avoid the sharp pain of putting anything on my feet. Sometimes in chilly weather I go out wearing black fur lined, thick sole house shoes because it is better than struggling with shoes and causing myself more pain. I can’t dress up to go anywhere because my feet look awful and don’t go with anything else I wear. I can’t imagine wearing any of the shoes in my closet even those with a tiny heal. They are a remembrance of the past.
All I have covered writing this is putting on panties, socks and shoes and not all the other every day difficult tasks that were once part of my normal daily life. It’s now all gone and I feel very sad.
That’s what bladder sling surgery will do to you. Be aware that you may feel like you are out of the woods because it’s been five years or more since you had this surgery, but one day you may feel small symptoms of problems that turn quickly into agonizing, relentless pain. I hear from women all the time that this has happened to, five to seven years later. The lucky ones scream loud enough to their doctors to get the mesh intruder recognized. Then comes reality. How to get it removed by a competent mesh removal doctor? How to survive the onset of agonizing pain? What pain killers and how much they can take to avoid becoming addicted? Many keep questioning “Could it be the mesh?” only to be told “No. It isn’t possible”. The unlucky ones whose doctors refuse to believe it is the mesh causing their pain, who can spend time at a computer find me. They are crying out for help to stop the pain and get help.
I am here.
If you need a removal doctor, I, with the help of other dedicated women, have a list of those who know what they are doing. Send me an email to the address at top right. Leave a message on the blog and I will send back a private reply with this list. You don’t have to say a lot, just the fact that you need help. I am here and I care!