This morning one email came in
“Hello as I write this I am praying and crying. Please let this email go to someone who understands what I am going through! God please! Just this past Thursday May 10th I had surgery for mesh removal. WHY am I still in PAIN? I don’t understand? This is NOT pain from the surgery! This is the very same pain! Lord what have I done? I thought he said he got it all. If you get this email and I pray someone does please let me know I am not alone. Blessings”
I did not include her name here but it was from yet another woman who was reaching out in pain and sadness in the hope that someone will hear her. I did and I will try to help by listening. What can really be done for her is much harder. Having just had surgery, she cannot undergo yet another for six months, unless it is an emergency to allow her body to adjust and heal. Six more agonizing hell from mesh that is more than likely still in her body.
Her words to me are more common than you can imagine. I have talked to so many women who underwent mesh removal, only to come out of surgery in the same or far more pain than they had before doing it. This says a lot because most are in such terrible pain and are desperate.
I try hard and do my best to help and yet I know there are thousands of women like this. Thousands who live in pain and thought mesh removal was their only hope. The sad part is, most doctors do not have even a slight clue how to remove mesh from women’s organs that as manufacturers state “It is not designed to be removed”. As I reach out to others, it also takes a toll on me. Most women in their own pain do not understand I too suffer. And I sadly do not have all the answers. But I answer these women, giving them as much hope as possible. Telling them of one and only one doctor in this world who I believe can help women. He isn’t a God. He is a man who all this mesh hell removal has fallen upon. Are there others? Maybe, but it takes a year for any woman to know of her results. Most of us will never regain complete recovery. You cannot rip out mesh that has grown into organs and tissue and think there will be no damage. Nerves and muscles will be injured and yet women go through mesh removal because without it they live in agonizing misery.
I wonder on this Mother’s Day how this doctor handles his time off? How does he view all the daily suffering? This is a never ending pit of hell that has befallen women and yet there really are no answers.
All I can tell any woman on this Mother’s Day is that for the first time in your life you have to put yourself first. Regardless of cost. Regardless of the cries in the background that are yelling “Me first”. You have to push all those voices aside and do what is right for you for a change. You have to research before you believe any doctors words “I can remove it”. You have to understand that most cannot.
The tools are here. A list of questions you can ask over the phone. If your doctor will not speak to you about them, or does not answer these questions, run. Find one who is not afraid to answer you.
Happy Mother’s Day is something you say to normal women. For those suffering the results of mesh complications, there is no Happy Mother’s Day. They just get through it the best they can with a smile to help those they love think they are okay. They are not!