We all grew up listening to stories about monsters and as small children we were sure one was living under our bed, but we never believed we would have to fight and battle a monster as large and ominous as the Mesh Monster. What makes it difficult is when we were told these stories there was always a knight on a horse who battled and sleighed the monster and all ended well. However there is no one to battle this giant monster except the sick women who have little energy to battle anything more than getting out of bed every day. There is no happy fairytale ending to this story.
So how did the mesh monster grow so huge? Money, ignorance and arrogance are three of the main ingredients that have made this monster grow so that it now owns the Kingdom. So large and ominous is this monster that it would take something much larger to fight and sleigh this dragon. The one ingredient that could sleigh this dragon is PUBLIC OUTCRY! However, women do not feel free to speak out about their pain and their silence gives this monster the power to rule us all so affectively.
Even if you are afraid to speak out in public to take your power back, there are things you can do to try to sleigh the dragon that is taking away your life. The first thing you can do is block out ignorance and negativity from those around you. These things seem to go hand in hand and the most effective way to rid yourself of them is to first of all, don’t go to a doctor who babbles off a load of crap to make him/herself feel important. The truth is, a doctor who does this in his office when you see him for your mesh complications, usually does it to hide their lack of experience. OR they will spend so much time with you doing all the talking and will often be the pompous type who lets you know how clever he/she is at removing mesh and one he/she has done so, you will have a miraculous recovery. BEWARE! These doctors often have the gift of the gab and can sway a rock to do as they wish. We all know these people exist and are especially dangerous to women in relationships. What we do now realize is that they are especially dangerous to women who have mesh complications. They are often so good at their line of bull, that they really do believe what they say and can sway your husband just as much as they sway you. Politicians do this every day to get our vote and doctors can do the same. That is why I prefer a doctor who isn’t trying to sway me but truly wants to help me with my medical situation. Because of what has happened to me with mesh complications, I now sit in a room as an outsider and pay attention to the details of a doctor as if I am not the patient. I find my objectivity helps me interview them without being swayed.
A good doctor should be kind and attentive to a point. He/she does not need to spend a long time with you to prove to you how good they are. They should allow you time to go home and think about something before you make a decision and give you an email address so that when you have time to think, you can ask the questions you want to know. Then they should answer those questions without a load of beating around the bush.
A good doctor should not carry his/her ego around like an extra head on his/her shoulder.
A good doctor should not wrap his/her ignorance in a pile of arrogance. They are the type who gets very defensive when you ask a question in person and combat that question with their own sense of importance.
Why am I writing about this today, you may wonder? Well, there are many women who read my blog and know I truly am mesh injured. I am not trying to sell them anything and I am not arrogant with a head full of knowledge that I love to spit out. In other words I don’t do bullshit! I struggled through my own mesh injury alone without any answers from the doctor who put it into me and I began writing here expressing what it was doing to my life. I did not know where to turn, who to trust and I felt so alone. They say from acorns giant oak trees grow. So true; Other women came to me and helped me through all my anguish. They shared their stories. They told me who to trust in doctors and what had happened to them with others. I listened, I learned and I shared with you the best doctors and I used them myself and I thank God every day for these women. They gave me hope and the power to do what was needed to do. In turn I vowed to do the same for every woman who wants to help herself. It works! Women are now taking control of their lives and making informed decisions. What they do with what I write here has nothing to do with me. They are the ones who refuse to bow down to the Mesh Monster and they get up and fight their fears to gain their freedom. They and they alone do the hard work that it takes to get their lives back. I just pass on other’s information and write my own story.
These women ask questions. They make decisions after visiting a doctor in their own local area. Sometimes the questions are aimed at the doctor who put mesh into them. They come away feeling battle worn and they give up for awhile. No you will not get the right answers from doctors who continue putting these slings in women and do not believe there are any complications or injuries. The sensible thing is to walk away from that battle and move on. Those who don’t give up begin to make decisions based on facts. This is what one woman just did and then she made an appointment to go out to UCLA. She felt confident in her choice. She found a new local gynecologist and went to see him so try to battle issues she now has with mesh, until she has mesh removal. She told this doctor that she had made an appointment with Dr. Raz. His answer was very confusing to her and she told me what he said.
I quote from her email. “I’m so confused now. just had my second visit with the newest urogyn that I’ve been seeing. I told him I was going to see Dr. Raz. and he felt that to remove the transobturator sling completely is a very risky procedure and that the safest thing for me to do is just have the majority removed that he can easily reach without going in the transobturator space where there are a lot of nerves and blood vessels. He says he has heard of people getting bad infections in that area when they have removals. He also said Dr. Raz must be 80 yrs old and most likely doesn’t do his own surgeries? He also felt that since Dr. Raz is a urologist and not a urogynecologist he wouldn’t be familiar with women’s issues as much as men’s? He also said that he has not read anything that Dr. Raz has published regarding the safety and effectiveness of his complete removals. so I did send an email to Dr. Raz today asking him to have someone fax me any articles he may have had published.”
Well I had to have a good laugh at this email because I know there are many doctors out there who are offended when women go out to UCLA. They believe they know how to handle the issue and how to remove the amount of mesh needed to ease the pain and suffering of women. If that is the case then why are so many women so ill for years more and undergo surgery after surgery? No there is no guarantee we will get completely better after complete mesh removal. Some of us remain with serious complications because the mesh has been in us for so long and has destroyed our internal organs and nerves and muscles. Leaving part of it in our bodies will not help us for long. I know because women have told me this. I don’t make it up and I would never have flown out to UCLA, spent a lot of money and agonized over that decision had I received a good doctor report here in the State I live. I listened to so many women and based my decision on what they all told me, then I did what I had to do to try to get myself well. That is how I fought my own Monster.
I did answer the lady who sent me the email and pointed out the absurdity of this, but she was also smart and emailed Dr. Raz after her doctor’s appointment. Dr. Raz sent her a paper he published on this subject to give to her doctor and answered her questions. She told me she now felt she had made the right decision. I think every woman who has been out to UCLA and had those surgeons remove their mesh are confident that Dr. Raz or one of the other women did do their surgeries. You would have to meet Dr. Raz to understand why we feel that way. He takes his job very seriously and knows what he is doing. The lady also said she had forgotten to tell me that her doctor had said that the arms fall off and do not need removing. If this was not such an idiotic thing for a doctor to say I would have burst out laughing, but it is shocking and ignorant. I wonder where he thinks they go? I know a woman in Florida who did not get well when one was left inside her and it decided to move. It took a surgeon seven tries to find it and she has the incisions to prove it.
So now you know how large and ominous this Mesh Monster is, but regardless of how large the monster, its brain is often very small. I wish you luck in your daily battle to sleigh your own monster. You can do it. Fight a little each day until you win the battle.